Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Fuck You South Beach. I wish I made this up.

Granted after Tales I wanted to be more professional in my writing but some stories are too good not to share.

I was having a relatively slow evening until around 10 pm when the bar went from empty to full in a matter of 20 minutes. At the time of this story every table and every bar seat was full.

This guy came in with his entourage and stood just inside the door waiting to be seated, granted we don't do table service and its first come, first serve at the bar this may seem unusual for out of towners. After 5 minutes he snapped his fingers a few times and said ( yelled over the music ) , " Can we get some drinks over here?"

I was closing out 2 tabs and making 3 drinks, but went over and explained what I was doing and if he wanted, he could come over to where the service area was and I'd be right with him. So when it was his turn he flipped ( I mean he got a good 1080 degrees on his card before it laid out on the bar before me ) his card on the bar Yup, this jackass had a black AMEX.

For those of you who don't know what a black AMEX is, it is the highest level offered by American Express. THE CARD IS MADE OUT OF FUCKING METAL. It has a minimum of $500,000.

At this point I was extremely happy to politely slide the card back across the bar and say " I'm sorry, we accept visa and mastercard." I know the east coast regularly accepts amex everywhere, but our little unrecognized backwater burrough does not. He gave me a visa card in its place. If you have the black amex you better be damn well carrying something else or..... maybe.... cash you fucking bigshot.

I carded everyone and he was sometime in the 60's and the girl he was obviously was with was '81. They were all from Miami.

She asked if I know how to make a Razmatini. I said I have never heard of such a thing, but had Raspberry flavored vodka and could do something, but he got upset and ordered two Grey Goose Cosmos and a crown and coke for their friend who actually was the least masculine of the group.

They stormed outside and I went back to my 5 deep line and less than 10 minutes later came right up to the bar and he demanded to be closed out.

I said I'd close him out as soon as I was done with the drinks I was making and his response was "Fuck it, keep the card"

Minutes later the girl came back in and said they needed the card for the rest of their trip an closed out with a zero tip.

I just want to publicly say thank you for coming in and spending your money at my bar.


Brian said...

what a douche.

slamming a black amex card on the bar = should be the first sign.

wolfie said...

every time i get that card i auto-grat it. i know you can't do it for a 3 top. but that card is really no substitute for walking around with your dick out, swinging in the breeze, yet that is what that card tries to achieve.

casey robison said...

In my experience, the people who have REAL (like in the millions) money, always carry a Visa, and always tip. This douche bag probably can't even afford a real airplane. Pfft... whatevs.